Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Excitement of being parents

Tonight we were visiting our friend that just had a baby. They just came home on Sunday. This is their first baby. I can totally see the excitement on their face. The excitement become parents. It is an un-explainable feelings. I kinda recalled my first feeling when I had my first. I mean, even when I had my second and third, I still have that excitement. Although I am tired from the sleepless nights, I still wanted to hold my baby and enjoy it. It is so precious. The 9 months of pregnancy paid off, when I saw my babies.

Being a parent is not something we've been taught at school or any education institution. It is a learning process through our lives that we will pass it on from generation to generation. I feel like I still have a long road ahead of me. Going through all the traffic road, long and windy road, and road with hills. It is not going to be an easy one.

When the first time I have to deal with my son to go through his infancy and toddler hood stage, it was hard. It was our first, of course we were clueless about a lot of things, but we prayed that God will give us wisdom how to handle him. We learn through books, shared with friends, etc. We managed to get out from that stages pretty well. It hasn't stop there yet. We still have another 2 to go. Now I have 2 toddlers to deal with. Nicole is not a terrible one, but of course she has her own characters and way to do things, same with Daniella too. Jeremy now need more attention since he is at school a lot.

Every day, on the train I am thinking how in the world can I manage to share my time between work, husband and three kids? God isn't it impossible. Every time I got home, I barely alive. ;p But I have to be alive for them. Play with them, listen to their stories, bathe them, read for them, and all the possibility things you can do for them, yet it's never enough. I notice when my son doesn't get enough attention at home, he will starting acting out at school. He will come home with "yellow" sign for his report of the day. Every morning we try to warn him, stay on green please. Even Nicole remember to warn him, that is how often we say it. Haha....she is a little mom.

I still feel like I am still lucky because at least I was able to spend a pretty good amount of years within my children's life. The investment that I made, makes me know my children really well. I know what they need, how to talk to them, what is their battles, I can assure you that I know what they would and wouldn't do. Specially Jeremy. I thank God for that. It makes me keep making an effort to be care to my children. We try to set dates with our children. I did dates with Jeremy alone and occasionally with Nicole.

A lot of people take the parenthood for granted, they have no idea how precious and valuable it is to be parents. I have a friend in Australia that shared the same value with me. For us our children are very important. She is a first time mom also, but she just awesome. Her goal is to raise a Godly and honor children. I know it wasn't easy for her, but she did manage to do it. Her humbleness to learn make the blessing keep pouring upon her. She also pray everyday asking for wisdom isn't it amazing?. Not just that, she did all of that, with no maids, sitters and she even work. She have the choice to live comfortably if she wants, but she put her family first. That makes her a noble woman. Just like woman in Proverbs 31. I really admire her extraordinary love for her family.

On the other hand, I heard a lot of story how spoil some of the parents are. They can get all the help as they wanted. Sitters, maids, families, and friends, but they just wasting it. They abandon the relationship with their children. The value being parents become a cultural and 'a must to do' thing. As long as the children get fed well, get nice birthday party, get the newest toys, or nice clothes, they are well raise and they are a success parents. How sad it is, knowing the fact that their children are actually a human being with feelings, emotion needs, and have character within them that needs to be develop.

When we have ridiculous story to tell between us, we will scream and sometimes speechless. We heard some moms actually proud how good is their sitter managing their children. It drive us nuts. Since we know what is our principle.

Don't get me wrong. Not that I never enjoy that luxury living. I used to have sitter and maid when I only have my son. But I was able to set up a boundaries between my sitter and me. Whenever I get home, she rest and my son is all mine. I fed him, bathe him,and read for him. When we are on vacation, I put my sitter on vacation too. I will never take them with me. I even let them go to the mall every other week. So we can have quality time together, just the 3 of us. Every hour I called from work just to make sure she is following the schedule that I gave it to her. The meanest part is.... I fired them, once they made a mistake, well, I tolerate it 2 mistakes. First reason is I think they are being disrespect with my rules, second of all because I don't want my son get to attached with the caregiver. I remember one time I have to go out of town, I didn't have any sitter at that time, my husband finally took care of my son by himself. Guess what? It was do able. And I was so proud of him. We weren't depend on the sitter. All we need to do is sacrifice ourselves and not being lazy.

I wish parents more aware about their future, not just academic future, but their character and how they will turn out become a person. That is what important.

Parents please think about your vision for your family. Then you can come down with what kind of family you want to have?

Good night everyone.

1 comment:

Honey Josep said...

i'm blessed Tine,

thank you for sharing :-)

being a parent is a privilege :-)