Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Give Up

It's been 3 days since I post my blog. I know I promise to write everyday. But it looks like I have to be real. Haha....I don't think I have the energy to write everyday. With 3 kids to take care of. It's just too ambitious. Plus my husband been working on a project for the last couple days and using the laptop. My laptop is still under repairment, since it crashed couple months ago. I hope I can get it back soon, so we don't have to fight to use the computer.

Yesterday, I finally finished my book. I feel blessed with that book. "Brave heart" written by Sharon really encourage me to love people extravagantly. In the last chapter she was talking about letting go our hopes and let God working in our lives freely. I know I have a big expectation and hopes towards my husband and kids. Specially my oldest son. I know he is capable in a lot of way, but sometimes I just forgot that he is only (almost) 7 years old, sometimes he is still think like a child. I just have to let God work in him. Building up our relationship. The same thing with my husband. Yes I do have expectation towards him, but I can't push it anymore. If I want him to change, then I am the one that have to do it first. It's not easy, but I believe that God will give me wisdom and strength to do it.

Today I am starting the journey of Love Dare. I can imagine my days would be really hard. I will struggle a lot, but this time I put my hopes in Him. I want Him to restore me in the way He wants. I feel like this year I will have to go through a lot of process. Well, God never promise it will be easy to follow Him, so....I was agreed to take that risk and here I am doing His command.

I hope my friends will support and pray hard for me. ;p Without their guidance and support, it will be hard.

Time to sleep. After listening to President's speech ... ;p

Love is patient ... !

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Breakfast at the Dutch Market

Finally, after so many times trying to have breakfast over the weekend, we finally made it. We went to the Dutch Market to have a nice, home made breakfast. The Pancake, toast, home fries and ham were delicious. We really enjoy it.

Today Daniella made me so proud of her. She finally said Please? hahaha..... that is the cutest. We all cheered for her. She was so proud of herself too...she laughed a lot. I figured earlier that when I praise them a lot, they made tremendous progress in a lot of things. Specially for Nicole....I have to keep motivate her to do things. It is funny to see both girls, when they are not sure to do a new thing, they will look to each other and see what happened if they try it. If Daniella not sure if she will like something to eat, she will look at Nicole to see if she is eating it too. That is just too cute. I feel like they trust each other. hahaha.... I enjoy seeing them do that.

Nicole will turn 3 in two months. I still can't believe it. She is growing too fast. We still debating whether we are going to put her in a toddler bed or not. I still can't really trust her yet, although now she is climbing her crib. Sometimes I found out a lot of toys or books a night before at Daniella's crib and it will be at her crib in the morning. So I wonder she actually climbed out and got in to Daniella's crib and went back to hers. Crazy girl!!

Watching them growing make me want to stay at home again and homeschool them. I figure it will be awesome to be able to homeschool the three of them. As from now I am trying to look at different kind of options. Hoping I can just stay at home and teach them. Pray hard for it.

Anyway, I better go to bed and enjoy my TV....

Nighty night...

Friday, January 22, 2010

Weekend is coming

For the past couple weeks...I've been thinking a lot about extravagant love. Sometimes I feel like I get it, but sometimes I am just loosing it. It is so hard to do it. Sometimes I get confuse. This evening I was thinking to make a group of women to learn about extravagant love. Hoping that we can encourage each other so we don't keep falling and keep spreading our loves to people surround us. I wish doing it is so easy.

It's not only takes time. But draining all the energy, emotion and time too. I think once it's become your lifestyle, it will be easier, because it is part of you, meaning you are a new person now. Well, it looks like long way to go... but I guess I have to keep have the courage to do it.

I can't be happier than tomorrow is Saturday. We are planning to go to Dutch Market for breakfast. I will be fun. I love going out for breakfast on weekends. It is nice. I guess get up in the morning is part of me now.

I hope you all have a great weekend.
Take good care....

Thursday, January 21, 2010


I spent most of my day reading story about Scott Brown, a new US senate for Massachusetts. It was an amazing race. An unpredictable victory. I read all the comments from all the different media. They uses different kind of term to express themselves from being shock for his victory. One word that I like the most is 'unthinkable'. The dictionary define the unthinkable word as : not capable of being grasp by the mind ; and the second one is being contrary with what is reasonable, desire or probable; being out of question.
Yes his victory is definitely an unthinkable. It changes a lot of things. Not just for the 'seat's for people', but it will changes the whole country. For years Massachusetts can't never be able to have a Republican senate, but Scott Brown made his name carved everywhere. He made it for the first time after about more than one decade.

Somehow I thought we are like that. We easily underestimate what God can do for us. We just want something that predictable. We want something that we can easily guess where things will go. But we never expect something big and different would happen in our lives. Well, this is may be something beyond his mind too. Because looking at his speech and his reaction how excited he will be going to Washington DC. It was unthinkable. He might change US. Let's hope for the best.

Last night as I am thinking about all the politicians that had to admit their adultery, it's very sad. We should started to pray for our leader. Specially a good one. The one that still fight with their conscience. Pray for their family in specific, so that they can keep their faithfulness to their wives.

God bless every leader...!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Excitement of being parents

Tonight we were visiting our friend that just had a baby. They just came home on Sunday. This is their first baby. I can totally see the excitement on their face. The excitement become parents. It is an un-explainable feelings. I kinda recalled my first feeling when I had my first. I mean, even when I had my second and third, I still have that excitement. Although I am tired from the sleepless nights, I still wanted to hold my baby and enjoy it. It is so precious. The 9 months of pregnancy paid off, when I saw my babies.

Being a parent is not something we've been taught at school or any education institution. It is a learning process through our lives that we will pass it on from generation to generation. I feel like I still have a long road ahead of me. Going through all the traffic road, long and windy road, and road with hills. It is not going to be an easy one.

When the first time I have to deal with my son to go through his infancy and toddler hood stage, it was hard. It was our first, of course we were clueless about a lot of things, but we prayed that God will give us wisdom how to handle him. We learn through books, shared with friends, etc. We managed to get out from that stages pretty well. It hasn't stop there yet. We still have another 2 to go. Now I have 2 toddlers to deal with. Nicole is not a terrible one, but of course she has her own characters and way to do things, same with Daniella too. Jeremy now need more attention since he is at school a lot.

Every day, on the train I am thinking how in the world can I manage to share my time between work, husband and three kids? God isn't it impossible. Every time I got home, I barely alive. ;p But I have to be alive for them. Play with them, listen to their stories, bathe them, read for them, and all the possibility things you can do for them, yet it's never enough. I notice when my son doesn't get enough attention at home, he will starting acting out at school. He will come home with "yellow" sign for his report of the day. Every morning we try to warn him, stay on green please. Even Nicole remember to warn him, that is how often we say it. Haha....she is a little mom.

I still feel like I am still lucky because at least I was able to spend a pretty good amount of years within my children's life. The investment that I made, makes me know my children really well. I know what they need, how to talk to them, what is their battles, I can assure you that I know what they would and wouldn't do. Specially Jeremy. I thank God for that. It makes me keep making an effort to be care to my children. We try to set dates with our children. I did dates with Jeremy alone and occasionally with Nicole.

A lot of people take the parenthood for granted, they have no idea how precious and valuable it is to be parents. I have a friend in Australia that shared the same value with me. For us our children are very important. She is a first time mom also, but she just awesome. Her goal is to raise a Godly and honor children. I know it wasn't easy for her, but she did manage to do it. Her humbleness to learn make the blessing keep pouring upon her. She also pray everyday asking for wisdom isn't it amazing?. Not just that, she did all of that, with no maids, sitters and she even work. She have the choice to live comfortably if she wants, but she put her family first. That makes her a noble woman. Just like woman in Proverbs 31. I really admire her extraordinary love for her family.

On the other hand, I heard a lot of story how spoil some of the parents are. They can get all the help as they wanted. Sitters, maids, families, and friends, but they just wasting it. They abandon the relationship with their children. The value being parents become a cultural and 'a must to do' thing. As long as the children get fed well, get nice birthday party, get the newest toys, or nice clothes, they are well raise and they are a success parents. How sad it is, knowing the fact that their children are actually a human being with feelings, emotion needs, and have character within them that needs to be develop.

When we have ridiculous story to tell between us, we will scream and sometimes speechless. We heard some moms actually proud how good is their sitter managing their children. It drive us nuts. Since we know what is our principle.

Don't get me wrong. Not that I never enjoy that luxury living. I used to have sitter and maid when I only have my son. But I was able to set up a boundaries between my sitter and me. Whenever I get home, she rest and my son is all mine. I fed him, bathe him,and read for him. When we are on vacation, I put my sitter on vacation too. I will never take them with me. I even let them go to the mall every other week. So we can have quality time together, just the 3 of us. Every hour I called from work just to make sure she is following the schedule that I gave it to her. The meanest part is.... I fired them, once they made a mistake, well, I tolerate it 2 mistakes. First reason is I think they are being disrespect with my rules, second of all because I don't want my son get to attached with the caregiver. I remember one time I have to go out of town, I didn't have any sitter at that time, my husband finally took care of my son by himself. Guess what? It was do able. And I was so proud of him. We weren't depend on the sitter. All we need to do is sacrifice ourselves and not being lazy.

I wish parents more aware about their future, not just academic future, but their character and how they will turn out become a person. That is what important.

Parents please think about your vision for your family. Then you can come down with what kind of family you want to have?

Good night everyone.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Tired Day

I guess I lost count the day. For some reason I thought my last entry was on Sunday. Which I thought I only skip a day. But I was wrong. I had a really long day. Sunday I was doing errand, ... groceries shopping mostly. I had fun with Nicole. I always try to take her a long with me when I do my shopping. Beside I get to spend time with her, I can actually teach her a lot of things while going out with her. And the last thing I hate to do is ... Cooking. But I was able to manage myself cooking for the whole week menu. I know... it's a lot.

Nicole said a lot of funny thing. That precious talked, I will not forget it. As soon as we get in to the car, she said, Mommy I want to read the music. Made my laughed, I said, Mommy I want to listen to music. Then on the way home, I guess I put the heater to high, her comment was ... Mommy I can smell hot. I was confused at first with what she meant, but then I realized she meant she is hot. That is so cute. I love the stage where they are trying to put words together, sometimes they use it in the wrong situation or wrong meaning. But they are learning. Just like I am still learning English.

The past two days just crazy. I don't have the energy to write. I made a commitment to come home earlier , so I get to spend my time with my husband and kids. I just want to enjoy them. Time is precious, without you realized it will fly away.

Anyway, I have nothing much to talk today. Even if I have, I hardly can survive now, I just took 3 pills of Advil for my back pain. It looks like knock me out now. So I better go to sleep.

Will post more tomorrow. Have a great night.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

A little relaxing weekend

After very tense week, I went out of town with a friend. We stay overnight in a hotel. I felt really good. It was very relaxing. We talked all night, shared stories and our hearts. We end the gate away with shopping at the outlet. We went to Arundel Mills Outlet in Hanover, we had lunch and the best part of it, we were able to control ourselves. It wasn't compulsive shopping, we got what we need with really good bargain. So we were happy about it.

Now I try to make strategies to prevent sickness in the house. LOL ... not fun at all. The easiest step will be wash hands as often as we could. Specially if we just coming back from outside. Suddenly I fell like Monk! ( If you know that TV series called Monk, the OCD's detective). Also the food that she is going to eat. It get me thinking too, since Jeremy and Nicole going to have their birthday soon, I will want them to check their blood.

Well, the bottom line is ... our life is getting back to normal, although we keep in our mind that one day a chaos will happen and we wanted to be on standby mode. This is exactly what the bible tell us, to be alert, because we don't know when God will be coming. I feel like He use this situation to kinda picture it out.

It's 930pm, I wanted to be in bed with my husband and watch a movie. So, I better stop now and will write again tomorrow.

Enjoy your weekend!