Take one day....

Couple months ago, while I was changing Daniella's diaper... I was in tear, I don't know if it's a tear of joy, sad or just a moment of emotional. Having 3rd baby without any family member wasn't easy at all. Prior to that, we moved twice within 2 months, so it was before and after I gave birth. It took all my energy, emotionally and psychically. I was so exhausted. I was truly a zombie. I think my friend once asked me, how many hours do you actually sleep. I said, I have no idea. So that day - for some reason -, I think I was flashing back the time when Nicole was born. I had no idea how we can survived. I remember telling my husband...is ok honey, take one day at the time, we can go through this, try to survive today. He had to go back to work the next day after I came home from hospital, so he never took day off to help me.

Then suddenly she is turned 1, and now she is 2. I feel like I am repeating a moment again. But this time, again, I am repeating the same word to my husband...hang in there, take one day at the time. We survived before, now we can do it. Now my little angel is 6 months old already and she is just too precious to complain about. Everytime I see her and hold her, I saw God's greatest creation. I just can't stop worshipping Him for what He has done to our family. Giving us the strenght to go through hard time.

Time just flew by so fast. This time we survived. We went through the sleepless night phase, when she turn 4 months she finally sleep through the night. I remember that night we celebrate and I told my husband...finally our hard work is fruitful. We finally can be a normal person, sleep in proper time. Again...this feeling...that keep coming back and forth, the feeling that wanted to be with my family is killing me. Specially after my mom see the kid's picture on Facebook, she will make comment that breaks my heart. Her comment about her desire to hold the baby. Oooo..... I wish Indonesia is only a mile away.

All I can do is just waiting. Waiting for the right time to go back home. I just wish it's not too late ... and I believe in His time, it is never too late.