Singing

Tonight I was in Vienna, VA for a concert. It was fun and I really enjoy it. I sang all of the songs because I know the songs and I love it. Andre Hehanussa was the main act. About 10 years ago, I was one of his backing vocal for his concert. So I was so thrilled to know he is in town. He is one of the famous artist from Indonesia. Along with that, there was Shakila, she is also one of the well known artist from Indonesia, she reside to VA since she was married to an American. Tonight I got a chance to told her that I am one of her fan, in fact I used to sing her song. I really had a great time. It was a blast. I dance and sing. I totally will sleep well tonight.

I love singing. Every time I am sad, stress, desperate, down, I always run to music. I express myself with music. For some reason it is just really soothing me. Since I am in US, for the past 4 years, I hardly sing. It's like one of my passion, although it's not a main one.

I really hoping that one day I can sing in church and lead a worship. Fun and funky worship. It is just the way I wanted to praise my God. With the talent that He already provided me.

Some people starting to ask me to sing. This time I will not pass it, I will definitely take it as my chance. I will not let myself down anymore and I will try to be confidence. I always remember a parable from bible, 3 men with money, only one that actually came back and double the money. That is exactly why God give each of us talents/gifts, it is for us to use and to bless others.

Give what you have, don't just keep it for yourself. Someone can always enjoy it.

Decision...decision....

Tomorrow is already Monday, my least favorite day. I am going to have a long day tomorrow. So I am preparing myself for tomorrow. Entering the third day of January...I looking on what I am going to do this weekend and the next, my weekend already booked for the rest of the month. Gosh....I didn't even realize until I stand in front of my calendar and look at it. Time flies so fast. Part of me still not ready yet, although I know I am going to have an adventure for this year and looking forward for it.

Today I am thinking about taking a big decision that I have to make. But this time, I don't have the guidelines and totally clueless. I am totally blank. I don't know what to do. Something to look forward is I am going to have someone helping me out for this. We are going down to Lynchburg, Virginia to visit a wonderful friends of ours. The good thing is...it will only me and my husband. It is a totally BIG treat for us. I think we need this refreshment. Just the two of us, refreshing our relationship. We hardly even go just the two of us. 'The two of us' runaway totally will be the first time in 2 years. It's been a long time. I know it will be really weird spending 2 nights without kids. But they will survive, I am preparing myself now!

Forget the BIG decision for now...I still have to talk about my resolution. I guess this will be my resolution #3. Ever since I am working in DC, my perspective of life has been changed. Things that I used to do and passion in finally come back to me. So good to be myself. For the past four years although it is hard, but I dont think that I did what I should have done. I don't think that I've done enough spreading the gospel and share about the love of God. I feel like I've been in the safe zone. I've been walking on the egg shell and being comfortable in the Christian circle.

Walking everyday on the street of DC, working in a big building with the diversity of people really opening my eyes. I've been very selfish for the longest time. Knowing some people need God in their life, I cant just close my eyes and walk passed it. For the first time after 4 years, I finally confessed my faith. I shared God in a bar. Talked about Him with someone who don't believe in anything.

With the recession starting on last year, I heard almost everyday in the news about it. It has a big impact in every individual, family, and society. Most of the non profit organization stated that people that used to donate stuff now become their recipient. Very sad. I can't bear my heart watching this situation anymore.

Couple nights ago, Jeremy asked me to pray with him. I couldn't resist his request. So I went in to the room with him. I asked what is his prayer request. He said he ask if God will bless us so we have more money, so we can help others in need. I feel like someone slap on my face hard. If a 6 years old can think about others, why I am being selfish? I really need to get off my butts and do something.

So here is resolution #3... I am going to volunteer in a non profit organization, helping distributing food and packing up in the ware house. I am going to do it with Jeremy. But since the requirement is 7 years old for the children that are going to help, I have another 30 days to go to wait until Jeremy is turning 7. But other than that, what I really want to do it volunteering to teach the kids in need. I found several foundation that has opening for it, I need to pray hard and find the one that God want me to do.

" Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed - not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence- continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose" Philippians 2 : 12-13

Have a great week everybody....!! You can change the world with Him who made you....

Organizing

Entering the 2nd day of 2010, I am still trying to organizing my life. Hoping my life will get easier. I am planning to get more organize, specially in term to save money. Organizing all the bills, paper work, and advertisement. So I don't missed anything.
You will surprise if I said that I already wrap Nicole's gifts for her 3rd birthday in March. Never happened before. I bought the gifts when it was on sale a month ago.
I also starting to plan for Jeremy's birthday, summer vacation, summer camp... hahaha...I know it's a lot, but I feel good about it. Since I am working, I just have to be more organize, I don't have a lot of time anymore. I don't want end up spending my time cleaning up the house, organizing each week and less time for the kids. Organizing makes me feel good. I am almost done with all the organizing and I must say that I am proud of myself. Hahaha......
BUT one thing that I still trying to avoid, planning for food/meal. I don't like cook. It is so hard to think about what to cook. I have to take a deep breath and starting it. ;p

That's another resolution. Plan things better. That way, I can also save money and not being a impulsive shopper. For the past 6 months, I've been really careful with that and I did well. I haven't seen any junk or unused things being bought. All the stuff that I bought is what I need. Beside that I make sure what I purchased is on sale or have a good deal.

I need to keep discipline myself in order to be success. Hope all my laziness will go away. I am still fighting it. Wish me luck everybody....

Day 1 of 2010

Knowing that I have goals for 2010 makes me have the energy and excitement to face my days. I feel like I know good things will happen in front of me. Regardless knowing failure will have the role in the process, I feel like I am ready.

Today, we invited some friends for lunch. It was a good one. It became one of my resolutions, trying to invite friends to come over for lunch or dinner, at least once a month. We really need to get to know people and have a relationship with them. I totally remember in 2009, for that whole year, we only invited 2 friends to come over for dinner. Which is really bad. I feel ashamed for it.

So I am starting to put some name in my list ... You could be the one...;p

Have a good start of the year .... !!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Finally the New Year has come. Welcome to 2010. It's kinda weird how to write it...there is ONE in the middle instead of ZERO...

All of my family got up to welcome 2010, including Daniella the baby. We all excited and open the 2010 with a prayer. Thanking God for 2009. Although it was a hard journey, yet He is with us. Guiding us through the year. We are hoping the same thing.

Everybody kinda listing their resolution. I am always trying to make my resolution do-able with a little sense. Some of the goals need courage and hard work. I will try my best to do it.
This is one of my resolution....

I always wanted to write a book. An inspirational book, a devotion book, a real life book that can help people to go through their lives. I figure if I never start at all, when is this going to happen? I finally decide to be brave and commit to 365 days writing my blog as my journal. I really hope I can make it.

Other than that...I will write it as the day goes by. I don't have a long list, only couple bullet point, but it is important for me and hoping no recycling resolution next year....;p

HAPPY NEW YEAR everybody ! WELCOME 2010 !!!!

The days will tough and suffer, but with the Lord, all things are possible. Be strong in your faith and be perseverance.

A Brave Heart

As I write this, I am listening to my favorite song when I was in Elementary school. It's a really old song, called First Love by Nika Costa. When I listened to that song back then, I wondering if one day I will ever find someone that can make me fall in love just like she describe in her song. The feeling of first love is unforgettable. All you can think is that person, the excitement in life, something you look forward to do. Every now and then I always wanted to feel that feeling over and over again. It's just very relaxing and peaceful to be able to feel that again.

I had struggled a lot for the last couple weeks. I was trying to recognize myself if there is something wrong with me. I was hurt, bitter and unloved. I started being sarcasm with people that say they love me. I was at a point get sick of it. I am so tired to hear that. Then I realized why? The word just a word, it meant nothing. There wasn't an act to it. It just something that people have to say. Words to end a conversation? Words to say because there is nothing to say or because they have to say it?

I kept searching if I can find the justification if that is ok for people just to say it without mean it. Or say it but never act on it. I have no luck to find it. Instead, I found that God told us to love each other, love your neighbor, even love your enemy. Is that possible for you to say I love you to your enemy? I don't think so, the only thing you can show it only by act on it. Acting on something to show them how much you love them. Words come out from the mouth just wasn't enough. I wonder how can you tell someone love you, if she never really do anything for you. I guess it is just like your husband or your boyfriend, they will do anything just to show how much they love you. An act of love.

Do I need extravagant love? A brave heart? A heart that can go through the dimension of love. Just sleeping under my blanket, not to get up in the morning and just dream about it. How fun that could be if I have a day to do it and can be fulfilled by it. ;p

How many women out there actually craving for love? Love that they want more and more and more...a never ending one. Why a lot of people can't understand how important it is to have a relationship? Share they feelings? Is that just me because I don't have family in here and all I can depend on is my friends? Why it is so hard just to spend 2 hours over a coffee one night? A night or two over 365 days? If you say you love them, is that hard to fulfilled? Words can be simple ... Quoting a song from Carol King " Words can hurt you, if you let them, people say them and forget them..." I guess that line of song is totally correct. People can just easily say that and then forget them.

Right now I am taking a big heavy step. A courage to put a step in front of my other feet. I want to have a brave heart. A heart that not just wanting being loved, but giving out my love. Fulfilling my passion that God had put it in my heart so I can love others. By not walking on egg shell anymore, open up a lot of chance for me to serve as myself. I am not worry anymore that I will fall and afraid someone will judge me. Having compassion to others truly help me to see another dimension of love, different side of love itself. It's been a really hard lesson for me to understand, but I think I got it at the end. May be I will try not to complain about it anymore. But I can't promise, I am a human being with feelings after all, and still need that love. But I will not let myself get disappointed with that. I believe that walking with Him, I will find it, someone will come in to my life and make me remember how it is to feel loved.

Arggghhhh...."Tell me Teddy Bear why love is so unfair, will I ever find a way and answered to my prayer?"

" Let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're truly living " ( I John 3:19, The Message )

Fall is Coming

As the month has changed, every time I got out from the train, there is no longer the smell of summer breeze, instead it's a fall breeze. A very refreshing one... It's always reminded me the first time we came to US, our transit was in San Fransisco. Stepping out from the plane, the airport's air smells so good. The spring breeze in the morning mixed with the smell of the fresh brewed coffee. Looks like everybody ready to start the day. For some reason it's very memorable. Can't forget that.

It's 7am and I am already in the office. Still half asleep I think. It's been 2 months since I am working. Still not easy. *sigh*. I wish I can just let it go and work, without have to think about what is going on at home. But well,... I am not complaining, try to understand that 4 years stay at home can't be place in just 2 months. It is definitely take some time.

As usual, my life is full of drama. Sometimes I wish I can ask God to give me a break from this episode. ;p Last week my sitter went back home, her son is sick. Thank God I got the replacement right away. But she can't drive, so I have to go to work super early so I can pick up Jeremy.

Right now I am trying to create a blog just for the kids. I wanted them to have their own story written and be memorable. I will let you know once I published it. I hope it will bring a lot of inspiration and helpful information.

I will try to write again soon. I can't believe time has gone so fast. I hope everyone have a great week.